The beloved nap time...how do I get my breastfed attached at the hip and boob baby to take longer naps?

Recently my seven month old decided he did not want to nap for longer than thirty minutes. He would look like this picture, so peaceful and dreamy. And then he would wake up. He would wake up either a. happy as could be or b. upset and wanting to breastfeed but after breastfeeding would be wide awake and happy. 

I either a. cried or b. vented to my husband each night about the complete and total exhaustion I was feeling because of it.  He would then sleep in 30 to ninety minute chunks at night. 

READ: I WAS NOT GETTING MORE THAN ONE AND A HALF HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT! 

Here is an illustration I drew of how I was feeling during this time...as you can see I'm an awesome artist.

I was also getting ready to have eight people over for Christmas Day.  This is how I felt on Christmas Day from lack of sleep...

When the first lot of relatives arrived for Christmas lunch I was still in my pj's and had not showered yet!

Now I am thankfully back to normal as he has decided to start napping again! Yay for me!

We are all looking for that magical answer....how do I get my baby to nap longer during the day?  Here is the magical answer....I actually have no idea what the magical answer is! But I do have some tips that have worked for me at various times with various babies to get them to nap longer.  Does it always work, no.  But sometimes it does! Then I rejoice and have some peace and quiet during the day for a bit longer to do all of those exciting things us mums and dads at home get to do...laundry, cooking, cleaning and occasionally getting to sit down and eat, instead of standing at the counter.

1.  First and foremost breastfeed your baby back to sleep if they wake up after a short nap.  With my eldest boy I would lie down with him on my bed just as he would start to stir or cry.  This way he would just barely wake up before I could quickly breastfeed him back to sleep.  This works great if they really don't want to be awake yet. Sometimes he would then fall back asleep for another hour or two!

2. Routine, routine, routine!  I remember asking my paediatrician about naps when I was a new mum.  "What is normal?" I asked him.  He simply said, "it's totally up to the parents whether or not babies and kids take naps."  I didn't really get it at the time but three kids later I can see what he means.  If you put in very clear routines into your child's day then they will fall into that routine easily and be more likely to nap and stay asleep.  With the first it's easier.  By the time number 2 and 3 come along it can get more difficult as I'm driving around like a crazy woman here and there throughout the day! Some days he has his nap in the car or being carried around in the baby carrier.

3.  Sometimes your baby's nap will happen when they have a long breastfeed.  Even though many of us (myself included) would prefer to have some time during the day by ourselves without a little creature attached to us, sometimes this just doesn't happen and it's totally normal to have those days when they will only sleep while breastfeeding or being held.  For more on this topic check out my previous post on fussy babies: Cranky Baby

4. Keep this mantra in your head, "Once I reach my breaking point my baby will change and all will be peaceful again!"  My mum told me this one and boy is it true.  At times your baby/toddler/child will bring you to the point of insanity (see above illustration) and you will think, "I can't do this anymore! I must sleep! My child must sleep!" They stop taking short naps and all of a sudden start marathon naps and night sleeps.  This just recently happened to me.  I am happy to report that for the past five days my little cherub suddenly decided to take amazingly long daytime naps and sleep in 3-4 hour chunks at night! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!  This is how I feel now...

5.  Remind yourself that babies have these variations in daytime (and nighttime) sleep for many different reasons.  After those two crazy weeks I realised that he was getting another tooth! The poor thing was in pain and probably as exhausted as me.  I feel great though knowing that during this time I breastfed him, cuddled him and slept by his side as he needed it.  Other times I realised after the fact that he was getting sick.  Also, sometimes babies will change their sleep patterns when they are going through a developmental milestone such as learning to roll over or crawl. Regardless of the reason, it's just about being there for our babies :)  

6. Often my baby will not go down for a nap unless I carry him around in my baby carrier.  He will fall asleep in the carrier and then go through this little routine to get him to finally nap...

-take him out of the carrier and he wakes up
-breastfeed him back to sleep
-put him down and he wakes up again
-breastfeed him back to sleep
-put him down again and will sleep! Yay! My hard work pays off eventually :)
 

And all is happy and peaceful now in my little crazy world...until something else changes and it all starts again :)  The cycle of parenting...




**If you feel as though your baby is having sleep issues or you are experiencing sleep challenges because of frequent breastfeeding, please contact me. I am available for consultations in person if you live on the Sunshine Coast or Brisbane. I am also available via Skype if you are located elsewhere around the world. CONTACT ME to schedule an appointment.
 

*What has worked for you to get your little one sleeping longer during the day? Leave a comment if you have the magical answer!  Please do not include crying it out though. There are many other sites out there where you can discuss that topic. Thanks!

Do you wonder if you should breastfeed your baby to sleep? Have a look at my blogpost on this topic!  Breastfeeding you baby to sleep...what's the big deal?

                       

Breastfeeding through the holidays...the craziness!

With only four days to go until Christmas, I am starting to feel the stress and excitement!  At times like this, it can be difficult taking the time to just sit and breastfeed your baby.  You still have wrapping, baking, cooking, yelling at your other children and mentally preparing yourself for relatives to visit all the while you are breastfeeding and tired.  Or is it just me? 

Here are some common challenges that come along around Christmas time and how to get through it as a breastfeeding mum!

1.  I am shopping and my baby is crying and hungry...

Here I am Christmas shopping with my baby.  Although I drove around for fifteen minutes just to get a park and had to hold my pee in for about three hours, it was still an OK trip since I could breastfeed while holding my baby in my Ergo carrier and still continue to shop.  I was like the energizer bunny! 

First he looked like this....

then like this....

and finally like this...

It was great!  No need to sit in one of the parent rooms with the poop stench and prolong your trip...


Just don't forget to pack nappies and wipes like I did.  Big problem!



2.  I have to breastfeed my baby with my elderly grandmother looking at me.  She never breastfed her babies and will think I'm weird!

There are a few different solutions to this.  First you can remind yourself that your breasts are there to feed your baby.  Some women put a blanket over their babies' heads while breastfeeding while others will go into a different room.  I always just whipped my boob out and breastfed anywhere because as my wise mum always said, "it's only weird if you make it weird!"  By just simply breastfeeding your baby you are telling the world it is normal and boring. Nothing special to look at here folks!

3.  Everyone is getting wasted and I'm here as dry as a pretzel.

The alcohol in your breastmilk is directly related to amount in your body.  Some women choose not to drink at all, others will drink a glass of wine after their baby has gone to bed knowing that when their baby wakes up in 2-3 hours the alcohol will be out of their system and therefore out of their breastmilk.  Alcohol peaks in your breastmilk 30-60 minutes after you drink it, 30-90 when taken with food.  A woman who weighs 54 kilos (120 pounds) will typically take about two to three hours to eliminate one serving of beer or wine. 


4.  Everyone will be here in four days and I'm freaking out!!! Ok, I admit it...this is just my personal thought running through my head at the moment and I'm stressed!! My house is messy! There is little boy pee all over the toilet floor! Cat and dog hair is everywhere! I have so much to do before everyone arrives on Christmas day! AAAAHHHH!!  

Deep breath.  This is what I tell myself...and then I hear my baby crying so I go breastfeed him and think of how thankful I am for my family and everything I have.  Take the time to enjoy your breastfeeding babies and toddlers and enjoy these quiet moments you have with them.  Take the time to just sit and rest.  Take the time to smile at them and sit on the floor with them.  These quiet moments won't last forever...especially when all of your relatives* show up. 

*To my mother-in-law I am of course not talking about you ;)

Breastfeeding Your Baby to Sleep...What's the Big Deal?!

The Milk has a new website! Please head over to www.themilkmeg.com to check it out! 

I remember a dear friend of mine who had a baby a few months after me.  This was way back in time (when I was still young and fresh and had only one grey hair instead of seven) about five years ago. We hung out quite a bit and realized quickly that we mothered our babies very differently!  As I sat there breastfeeding my baby to sleep, she would rock and jiggle and burn off the breakfast she just ate, trying to get her baby to sleep.  She (among many other women out there) went with the "do not let your baby fall asleep at the breast" concept that has been floating around out there for many years.  I have one question....

Where did this concept come from?! Who thought of this in the first place?! I'd like to have a word with them...

Believe me, for all of you out there who have "trained" your baby to fall asleep on their own.  I understand your frustration. I understand why this was your answer.  I understand how difficult the whole sleep issue can be!  I just have a different perspective...

First let's look at normal infant behaviour...

To continue reading, head over to themilkmeg.com! 

.....so I squirted some of my milk in his ear. Breastmilk as medicine!

Yes, I am happy to admit it. I have squirted my breastmilk in my son's ear when he had an ear infection. I have also squirted it in his nostrils when he was stuffy.  I have also squirted it in his eye when he had conjunctivitis.  Are you still with me or have you closed out of the post!?

Did you know that breastmilk has incredible anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-infective, moisturizing and just general healing properties to it?  "Human milk is similar to unstructured living tissue, such as blood, and is capable of transporting nutrients, affecting biochemical systems, enhancing immunity, and destroying pathogens" (Riordan & Wambach 2011, p.117).  If this is what it does for our kids from the inside, imagine what it can do topically!

SOME of the incredible components of milk include:

Phagocytes - engulf and absorb pathogens

Lymphocytes- have antiviral activity

Lipase- bacteriocidal activity

Oligosaccharides- microbial and viral ligands

Glycoconjugates- microbial and viral ligands

Lactoferrin- antibacterial

Lysozyme- bacteriocidal and ant-inflammatory

Vitamins A, C, E- anti-inflammatory action


And many  many more...

(Riordan & Wambach 2011, p. 132)


When one of my children has an ailment, whether it is a cut, bug bite, ear ache, sunburn or some general complaint (which happens about fifty times per day) I will always yell out, "I'll just put some of my breastmilk in it!"  They will then either; a. run screaming, "noooo!!!" or b. they will seriously be injured or hurting and go with it :) 

Remember the fembots from Austin Powers?



                                                                                                          

This is what a typical scenario looks like:

I stand like a fembot and threaten a squirt of milk at them.

My youngest (who is blissfully unaware of what is happening) responds like this:

 

my oldest two respond like this:

and off they go running from my milk guns!!!

OK, OK, yes this was just a re-enactment and I assure you I do not squirt it out at them like a fembot! It is often how I feel though in these situations....I just squirt some in a cup and go from there.




Here is a list of some of the things breastmilk can help with:


Ear infections/ache
Conjunctivitis
Snotty noses (especially helpful for infants)
Eczema
Cracked nipples
Cuts and bug bites
Nappy rash

And many more!



Why are we so weird about it? Why is a pill or cream that has been made in a laboratory with chemicals better then what we have right on tap?  Use it! It's free, natural and all you have to do is squirt it out :)


It's also fun to torture your children and husband with the, "I'll just squirt some of my milk on it" line...


*It is important to note here that you must do this numerous times throughout the day for it to work.  You cannot squirt a drop in their eye and hope it clears it up.  You must put a few drops in their ear/eye/nose every couple of hours (when you are awake) for it to help clear it up.*

Riordan, J & Wambach, K 2011, Breastfeeding and human lactation, Jones and Bartlett, Boston.

The Boob Hangs Out....Breastfeeding In Public

A day in the life of my "public" boobie baby...


Here I am feeding my little guy while getting my hair done.  Yes, I put him at risk of hair dye falling on his leg but at least he can still have a snack when he is hungry. You see, to him he is not "breastfeeding in public" he is simply EATING!

 

 Here I am feeding him at the shops later that day (darker hair! I get bored)...

 












 Of course now that he is six months old and very interested in the incredible world of people doing their shopping, he must pop off at various times throughout the feed to see what is going on.  It is very important to him that he does not miss A THING.  He MUST look at that woman over there with the two shopping bags walking past that amazing looking shop...

Here is my last "public" breastfeeding for the day at the supermarket.  Thankfully not a "selfie" as I ran into a friend who could take the pic! 

I remember when I was asked to leave a bagel shop in America when I was breastfeeding my middle child. He was one week old at the time.  The man said, "we have a bathroom down the hall."  I looked at him totally confused..."pardon?" I said.  Again he said, "we have a bathroom down the hall."  It then clicked in my mind.  My only response that I could think of at the time was, "so if I was feeding him a bottle that would be OK?" and he said, "yes."  GGGRRRR!  If only I had been more energetic and awake to think of something creative to say, but I was not energetic and I was barely awake and I was a hormonal new mum.  We stood up and immediately left the shop.  Now another baby later I am prepared if this ever happens again to me. I have a little speech in my mind! I have practiced! Please someone tell me to stop breastfeeding in public so I can say this amazing speech!  

I have realized now that this whole "public breastfeeding" thing should not even be a topic.  The fact that I even have to write about this is absurd!  I was born with breasts to feed my baby.  YOU (bagel shop man) have sexualized my breasts.  YOU have the problem with it. It's not MY issue.  My breasts are not for YOUR sexual discomfort or sexual viewing pleasure. 

What can we do as breastfeeding mums?  It's simple.  Let your boob hang out and breastfeed your baby everywhere you go.  No matter who is watching.  I even breastfeed infront of my father-in-law.  I also breastfed infront of my late grandfather.  I also breastfeed infront of my father and step father.  I do this because my baby is hungry and because (as mentioned before) my breasts are here on my chest for the sole purpose of feeding my baby!   

What can you do as a non-breastfeeding person?  Go up to that breastfeeding woman and congratulate her for feeding her baby wherever she is.  She is making it easier for other breastfeeding mums to do the same.


Breastfeeding in public, not weird, not brave, not sexual, just boringly (is that a word?) normal! And awesome!

For more on breastfeeding in public, click on the following link for my post on the Bribie Island Nurse-In...

When Breastfeeding in Public Makes National News!

Boobie baby turned boobie toddler monster: Tips for the mum of a breastfeeding toddler

I did not look at my newborn baby boy and think, "wow! He is so cute I think I want to breastfeed him until he is three when he can eat a cracker, hold a cricket bat and breastfeed at the same time!" 


Here is a picture of my middle boy at the age of 2 playing cricket.  And yes he was still breastfeeding! Play a little cricket, have a little snack....

Breastfeeding to natural term (which often means into toddlerhood) just happens.  It happens for many reasons.  Some people consciously feel as though they want to feed their babies until they decide to stop.  For others it just happens without them even realizing it.  When you are breastfeeding a three year old they do not look like a huge three year old. To the breastfeeding mum they look little and cute.  

 "Boobie! Boobie!"  Many of us toddler breastfeeding mums know that some people cringe a bit when they hear our toddlers  gleefully yelling out "boobie!!"  We also see the stares and hear the occasional gasps when people also see them run up, lift our shirts up and then happily latch on while holding an apple in their little hands.  Although many people are shocked, it is actually very normal throughout much of the world for children to breastfeed into toddlerhood. We just don't see it out in public much.  Mostly because toddlers get very distracted and do most of their breastfeeding at home. Many of them also LOVE to breastfeed at night.  Now here is one of the biggest challenges of toddler breastfeeding and a question I get often...how do I get my toddler to stop breastfeeding so much at night?! I need my boobs back!  Here are some tips you might find helpful when breastfeeding a toddler...

1.  Remember that this is a relationship.  It is not only about your toddler and their needs. It is also about your needs and your own personal boundaries which might change over the months or years of your breastfeeding time together.  Let's be honest, it's not all fun and games breastfeeding a toddler!  At times it is wonderful, other times we want to throw the towel in and lock up our boobs.  Is there such a thing as a bra with padlocks?  Remind yourself that it's not all about them.  It's about you too. 

2. It does not have to be "all or nothing" with breastfeeding.  Even though the word "WEAN" might be playing in our minds, it's important to figure out what is making it hard for you.  If they are frequent night nursers then try to limit how often they feed at night.  If they breastfeed too often during the day then try some distracting tricks when they are awake.  You might find that you are happy to continue to breastfeed if you just drop a few of the feeds.

3.  If you have a partner available it might be time to get some help from them.  Partners are great for cuddling them and distracting them.  At night they can be helpful in trying to get them back to sleep instead of you feeding them back to sleep. 

4. For the night time boobie monster:  it's all about negotiating!  This is a skill that comes in handy when night weaning.  For my middle boy I would say, "no boobie until the sun comes up!"  He was old enough that he understood the sun and how there was dark and light.  It took a few weeks but he got it! At times he would wake up at 2am in the pitch darkness and say, "sun up?" My husband or I would explain that no, it is as dark as anything outside and he would go back to sleep.  Eventually he stopped doing that and would sleep through until the first tiny little ray of sunshine came through! It was like he had magical powers that could sense the light before it even appeared...

5.  Try the "counting" trick.  This involves telling your toddler that they can breastfeed until you count to ten (or twenty or thirty etc.) and then they have to stop.  This can work quite well for people who are happy to breastfeed but not for a half an hour.

6. Let your boobie toddler monster know that they can breastfeed to sleep but not if they are awake.  Of course you might fall into the same situation my friend did with this one.  Her son was almost weaned but still breastfed during the day once for his nap.  One day he came up to her to breastfeed and shook his head yes when she asked if he was ready for a nap.  She sat down with him.  He breastfed for one whole hour (awake!) hopped up afterwards and said, "all done!" and walk out of the room.  My friend said to me, "I have never felt so used by a man in my whole life!"  So although this didn't work for her it does work for some!


7. Do not sit down where you normally breastfeed.  Sounds simple but works!  The second I sat down at the computer with my middle boy, he would hop up on my lap and want to breastfeed. By just avoiding that chair he would not breastfeed as often.

8. Offer a snack and a cuddle instead.  Sometimes this will work as it is a distraction.  Often times they are happy to receive attention through a hug or reading a book with a snack rather than breastfeed.

The most important thing to remember about these little boobie toddler mosters is that your patience is what will make it go as smoothly as possible.  Gentle weaning takes time and patience.  There will be one step forward and two steps back some days yet eventually they will wean.  You can meet the needs of your toddler and yourself, it just takes some creativity, patience and time.

Head over to La Leche League International's webpage to have a look at the following article on weaning your toddler...

https://www.llli.org/faq/weantoddler.html 

 

Sleep? What's That? I think it's something I may have partaken in many years ago...

Here I am upon waking.  Notice the swollen eye lids...the one eye that cannot open due to sleep deprivation....the bird's nest hair...the cranky look on my sleepy face.












Now have a look at my baby.

Notice the bright blue eyes...the smiling happy face...the content look as if to say, "yay! It's morning and I'm so happy to be awake!"



Didn't we have the same experience last night?  Didn't we both wake up four times? Didn't he feel hungry for each of those four times before he woke up? How is it that he can be so AWAKE and happy in the morning?  It is one of the great mysteries of life.....



OK, I know I just did a topic on sleep but honestly, it's something I think about a lot. Because I miss it and I dream about what it's like to get a sleep chunk longer then two or three hours.  The truth is, I hate this topic. Why are we so obsessed with sleep?  Why must people always ask us how our babies are sleeping?! If I never have to utter the word "sleep" again I'll be a content mother.

I would get even more frustrated when random strangers would ask me how my baby was sleeping.  That question is not helpful to a new mother!  It is also not helpful to ask a mother of a breastfeeding toddler who feeds ten times a night.  Why do we sit around mother's groups comparing sleep patterns with each other? I find myself doing this at times and have to snap myself out of this hypnosis type coma state I go into when we all get into a tizzy of "sleep talk."  Oh the misery.

Babies are not supposed to sleep through the night.  They are literally not physically made for it.  When they are born their stomachs are the size of marbles.  They need to eat frequently because breastmilk is so utterly perfect for them and their digestive systems, it goes in and it goes out and they get hungry again. Babies breastfeed for many different reasons as well as hunger, one of which is comfort.  Babies fed artificial breastmilk sleep longer because it is so difficult for them to digest, is hard on their digestive systems and it sits in there like a little brick.  It's no wonder they sleep so long, they are abnormally full and their little bodies are trying to digest this artificial substance.

Just be comforted in the fact that babies (and toddlers) are actually not meant to sleep for long periods of time and we really need to change our way of thinking.  Just think of how often you wake up... to get a drink, roll over, get an extra blanket, kick the blankets off etc. etc. If we can just accept that this is the reality, that we will not be getting our eight straight hours for quite awhile and this is normal we would be much happier. I wouldn't have had three kids if it's like this forever. Or am I just a glutton got punishment?!



Here is one of my all time favorite photos of mine which very clearly exhibits the utter exhaustion that mums experience at times.  It was taken eight years ago and is my eldest boy and I after what appears to have been a very long tiring night! Let us all support one another through this and not get stuck on "whose baby is sleeping through the night."  We are all in this together.

*There is no judgment here, there are many different reasons some mums feed their babies artificial breastmilk.  The World Health Organization recommends the following for babies if their mother cannot breastfeed.  The order is in preference from most preferred to least preferred;  breastmilk from the mother that is freshly expressed, mother's breastmilk that has been refrigerated, mother's breastmilk that has been frozen and defrosted (not in a microwave), donated breastmilk from another mother, banked donor milk, artificial breastmilk.  There are many options out there before artificial breastmilk.  Please contact me if you are considering artificial breastmilk but would like to continue breastfeeding if possible.*


For more posts on sleep (or lack there of!) click on the links below...

Breastfeeding Through the Night



Breastfeeding Your Baby to Sleep